THIS IS A FUCKING HOW-TO ON MAKING KOMBUCHA. KOMBUCHA IS MOTHERFUCKING EASY - SO GET OFF YOUR ASSESS AND BREW SOME. STOP BEING ASS-FUCKED BY CORPORATIONS WHO CHARGE YOU FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS FOR A BOTTLE OF KOMBUCHA THAT YOU CAN MAKE FOR PENNIES!
KOMBUCHA IS SO EASY. ALL YOU NEED IS THESE FUCKING INGREDIENTS. SO GATHER YO'SELVES SOME:
SUGAR
WATER
TEA
A MOTHERFUCKING SCOBY (WHICH STANDS FOR SYBIOTIC CULTURE OF BACTERIA AND YEAST - IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR MOM, OR YOUR FRIEND'S MOM WITH THAT SHIT!)
SOME FUCKING PATIENCE
HERE'S A PICTURE OF WHAT THAT SHIT WILL LOOK LIKE RIGHT AFTER YOU DROP THE FUCKING SCOBY IN.
BREW SOME FUCKING TEA. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. MAKE SURE YOU SWEETEN THAT SHIT WITH TEA AND YOUR FUCKING SWEET PRESENCE. LET THAT SHIT COOL DOWN THEN DROP THAT FUCKING SCOBY IN THE TEA. LEAVE THAT SHIT UN-FUCKING-DISTURBED FOR A MOTHER-FUCKING WEEK.
THEN ENJOY YO'SELVES SOME FUCKING HOME-BREWED KOMBUCHA AND THINK YO'SELF BETTER THAN THOSE FUCKING CHUMPS THAT DRINK $5 A BOTTLE KOMBUCHA.
IF YOU WANT TO GET ALL SUPER ASS FANCY FLAVOR YOUR KOMBUCHA BY PUTTING SOME FRUIT OR FRUIT JUICE IN THE BOTTLE. THEN LET IT FERMENT FOR A FEW MORE DAYS AND YOU GOTS YOURSELF SOME FLAVORED KOMBUCHA.
HOPE YOU FUCKS ENJOYED THIS POST. TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR MOTHER FUCKING KOMBUCHA EXPERIMENTS IN THE MOTHER FUCKING COMMENTS!
Haha, love it!
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